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Words of Love and Freedom
Control can happen where you least expect it.
In fact, the most damaging instances of control are experienced with a person who should be in a position that gives the most love and freedom to you.
When the person who should, by position or by promise, be engaged in —
building you,
caring for you,
empowering you,
celebrating you,
encouraging you,
understanding you,
believing in you,
listening to you,
or anchoring you,
but instead, is the very one who —
tears you down,
betrays you,
limits you,
doubts you,
uses you,
discourages you,
criticizes you,
blocks you,
stops you,
and takes credit from you for any good that God has empowered you to do — the battering to your heart, mind and spirit are heavy blows that only the healing salve of truth in love can heal.
But know this:
The miracle (meaning, the thing that truly is impossible from any natural view of things internal and external) is that healing is possible — the kind of healing that makes the place of the wound even stronger and more beautiful than it ever was before.
For there is a beautiful strength to be found in the healing, empowering, and limitless nature of true freedom, and true freedom can only be found in love. Do not despair - for love is not a creation of your imagination. It is not a fictional dream. It is the only reality in which we truly live.
A hard moment is when we find that love does not naturally or automatically happen between you and the person who is in a position that by definition should be a loving relationship in your life. And even though every relationship falls somewhere on the spectrums of love or manipulation, when those who should be most influential in our lives — those whose opinions we should value, trust, and build upon — when those relationships are revealed to fall squarely in the sector of manipulation, the pain and confusion can be overwhelming.
More difficult still is that love can seem to be present at the outset of a relationship, but is revealed to be control/manipulation when conflict arises. It is always in conflict that love is actually proven to be love. It is through fire, that love is proven to be gold instead of a consumable, shiny facade meant to draw one in and extract payment from them in exchange for empty nothingness. This leaves you feeling
robbed,
fooled, and
wronged.
And when that revealing fire of conflict comes, and what seemed to be love is shown to be something less — or, more truly stated, something opposite — it can cause us to question so many things about our past,
our experiences,
our beliefs,
our selves and
our future, since many of these things were born out of foundations and lessons learned with these people who we thought to have been the closest to us.
It can make us feel, “Who are they really — if they are so different from what I thought them to be?” or “Who am I really — if they believe me to be so different than I know myself to be?” “Who’s belief should I open my heart to — my own, their’s, or God’s?”
The beauty is that we can always see the light of love when we look for where the anchor of truth dwells. And where there is truth and love, there is freedom. Anchored to the firm foundation of truth, we find security in who we are, who God is, and what our purpose is. Living in the light of love, we find that through Jesus we are accepted and that we belong in spite of wrongs we have done — He loved us even though we are imperfect. It is not based on some set of perfect actions that He either accepts or rejects us, as some do. Rather, He loves us, and gave Himself to bring us into His family, if we just accept the gift of love He is giving us. And freedom comes by knowing we are secure, we are accepted and we are valued — there is no freedom like that kind of freedom! It affects us forever.
The ones who try to control are “takers”.
They rob.
They believe they have a right to use.
They de-value their victims in every way.
They falsely accuse - especially when the accused is not present.
They assign blame and wrong motivations to any actions that go against what they desire.
They justify their own wrongs,
excuse their own words, and
exalt their own “wins” above everyone around them.
They are about their own appearances.
They exploit others’ weakness.
They are about power,
posturing and
position.
They abandon any opinion of others they may have held in the past that does not support their present narrative.
They rejoice over the failure of others outside of their circle.
They spread false narratives — both negatively about others and positively about themselves.
They deny what is clear about you and others around them, and
they claim as true the assumptions they make.
They resist accountability at every turn, and hate those who dare to hold them accountable.
They shame and demand one “virtue” only: the virtue of submission.
They attack your integrity, yet rely on your grace and character to keep you silent about the dark work they are doing.
They claim that you are pride filled if you defend your
integrity,
motivations,
gifting,
strengths, or
words.
This is darkness.
People love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil.
These are those who would seek to keep you in the dark —
use you for themselves —
not not not love you.
And there is a period of deep pain as we realize these things.
But they are the beautiful pains of growing,
of breaking free,
of fighting against the undercurrent that threatens to take you under forever.
Do not let them, even in your moments of painful realization, have any space to hurt you further by allowing it to make you bitter, or to question if love and truth are even real.
Reach!
Fight hard the current threatening your life!
Kick up!!
Pull!
There is a life raft ready for you, but you must reach towards it! Yes, this life raft of truth will take you away — it is here to take you away - you must move away— because staying is not safe.
It may feel deceitfully like “peace” to stay, and “conflict” to move away. But “Away” is the only safety when your freedoms are being taken from you where you are.
You are not unloving for moving away. You can love those who do not love you, but you do not need to act under their unrighteous control in order to love them. That is their definition of love. But you must know your contrasts — it is not love; it is manipulation.
They will claim that you are attacking them when you move towards freedom —
that you are betraying them —
that you are breaking the relationship by leaving —
that you are rejecting their love - and that therefore the wrong is your’s.
But know in your deepest soul that your moving away from someone who is causing damage and darkness to you, is not an attack — it is your right before God! It is your divine right to run toward all that is meant for you to be. It simply a beautiful and brace belief that you are not to be held captive. You are driven and determined to take action based on truth —
the truth that they do not want to face or admit —
the truth that who they are is damaging and dangerous and wrong—
the truth that abusing and accusing is of the one who abuses and accuses the world —
the truth that when they have chosen the ways of darkness, that others will go to the light
the truth that light and love and freedom and power exist.
the truth that the one who is darkness can be recognized, located and rejected based on the truths of how he and those who follow him behave -
the truth that they can name the name of LOVE, but their actions will prove it out —
the truth that the darkness is warring against the One Who is Light —
the one who despises against the One Who is Love.
It is the war of the worlds, and you get to choose whose message you believe.
So you must know, that your action to move out/away/up is revealing the truths that their very power rests on keeping hidden.
You are showing that you can move away,
that you need to move away,
that there is no other way but to move away.
So, to them and to their system of lies, this feels to them like an attack.
You are revealing that moving away from them is possible —
is preferable —
is powerful -
and that threatens their false security that controlling,
limiting,
shaming, and
using you is somehow good for them, for you, and for others under their control.
You are threatening the false structure they have erected. That feels like an attack to them. But remember, acting on the truth is the most loving thing you can ever do in your life, for you and for others.
Remember, the truth is that their false structure is not safe for them.
Their control of others is not security for them, but rather the weakest state.
They are not personally strong, free, or protected by using others — and therefore,
your revelation that their structure is false, is the best thing you can ever do — for you and for them.
It is the truth.
Living in the light of truth is always the most loving thing you can do, even when others claim it is the opposite.
It is not about “my truth” and “your truth” — but rather THE truth. God’s truth.
His truth, no matter how it may feel when I see how I fall short of His clear truth, is always
the most loving thing —
the most freeing thing —
the most giving thing —
the most patient thing —
the most gracious thing —
the most empowering thing.
This is love. His truth is love. No one else’s “truth” is love — it is the very definition of selfishness. I will accept one truth only — the truth that sets me free — not to be whatever I feel in the many-changing-moments of my every day, but to open my heart, mind, and will to the freeing way of the One Who made me,
loves me,
saves me, and
cannot wait to celebrate my victories!
He has made me,
my abilities,
my strengths —
He knows my weaknesses and
gives me everything I need to overcome them.
He knows my fears, and
He gives me everything I need to be protected, secure, AND free!
He shows me the way forward, and
protects me all around as I run toward all that He is and all that He has for me in Him!
He understands my sorrows,
my losses,
my questions.
He allows me to ask my questions —
and He patiently answers, even when I cannot immediately see or hear what He is doing.
He asks for my trust,
but proves every day in a thousand ways why I can trust Him, so that when I can’t see or hear — when He is waiting — I can freely and confidently trust Him and keep moving forward,
or keep waiting quietly,
or keep resting without fear.
He brings freedom to be —
freedom to trust —
freedom to ask —
freedom to fail —
freedom to win —
freedom to do —
freedom to rest —
freedom to grow —
freedom to learn —
freedom to love.
Love and Freedom.
When you move to break free, and fight the undercurrent, you find a desire to be free that is stronger than any fear, or any pain — and you begin to fight the current with a vigor that some would think unnecessary.
Some would say it’s not dangerous, it’s just a beautiful ocean. But they are not feeling the vacuum sucking you under. And even though you are feeling pain in places you can’t even locate, pain from wounds from your captivity,
and your wrists and ankles may be broken and bleeding from the shackles that you didn’t even know had been on you until you attempted to move forward —
until you pulled with all of your might and ignored the tears that just keep falling —
and you reach,
kick,
run,
pull up,
stroke,
and barely even breathe until you are free —
somewhere inside you, you can feel the truth that the pain will stop and that healing will come.
But only if you get away from the blows, so you keep moving.
You must not look back at the false promises,
the false wounds,
the false accusations,
the false security,
the false protections and
the false future.
You have seen that there is such a thing as light.
You have seen that love illumines,
rescues,
frees,
values, and
heals.
Keep focused on all that it illumines and follow the light that is leading you up, out and to the beautiful shore of freedom. If you begin to be pulled down again, find the bottom under your feet, gather your strength, and push off to emerge above the surface — do not willingly put back on the shackles by believing those who previously had blocked the light.
Hold tightly to those who carry the light.
Let the Light inform you about everything and everyone around you.
Become strong in your understanding of the contrasts of what is and what isn’t,
of love and manipulation —
of light and darkness —
both in their activity and in their results.
And flee the darkness. Get away.
Come to — run to — the light.
Rest.
Heal.
Be restored.
Grow.
Build.
Re-start.
Renew.
Understand.
Breathe.
Accept.
Be invigorated.
Believe.
Create.
Imagine.
Release.
Forgive.
Dream.
Laugh.
Change.
Conquer.
Celebrate.
Enjoy.
Sort.
Prepare.
Feel.
Think.
Be Free.
Love.
Light dispels darkness, and there is no darkness in light. Love and manipulation are opposites. There is no fellowship of light with darkness. That’s the truth. And the truth will set you free. Love and Freedom — hand in hand — Always.